Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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