i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
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You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
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And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
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