Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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