Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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