I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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