i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize