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Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
home. puking in laundry basket.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
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