Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006

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(312): Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006 http://tfl.nu/3jq0

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(514): View more from Quebec

home. puking in laundry basket.

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(514): home. puking in laundry basket. http://tfl.nu/2psg

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(563): View more from Iowa

She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...

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(563): She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman... http://tfl.nu/mfcm

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(956): View more from Texas

im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.

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(956): im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober. http://tfl.nu/pinp

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.

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(412): Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way. http://tfl.nu/rfmc

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(805): View more from California

I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship

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(805): I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship http://tfl.nu/l6zt

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(604): View more from British Columbia

You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.

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(604): You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed. http://tfl.nu/a2ab

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(404): View more from Georgia

I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro

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(404): I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro http://tfl.nu/8m8i

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING

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(780): let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING http://tfl.nu/vf6d

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(760): View more from California

I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.

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(760): I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/aeiu

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.

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(617): So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan. http://tfl.nu/ggx4

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(778): View more from British Columbia

they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.

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(778): they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see. http://tfl.nu/hkkp

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.

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(606): I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket. http://tfl.nu/x07r

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(503): View more from Oregon

I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress

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(503): I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress http://tfl.nu/vffb

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go

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(919): I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go http://tfl.nu/j7ma

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