if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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