i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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