Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
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Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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