he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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