New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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