We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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