My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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