My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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