Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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