Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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