Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize