Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize