If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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