Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
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we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
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Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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