I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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