I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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