porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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