So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize