ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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