i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You dont lie about slip and slides
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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