Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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