This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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