you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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