So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize