and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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