I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize