i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
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Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
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Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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