Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize