its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I think your dad took our porno
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize