how can u be prego again
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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