Apparently you make a good broom.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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