ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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