PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
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this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
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What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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