Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize