Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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