If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
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When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
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It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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