If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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