What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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