Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize