haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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