I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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