Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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