I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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